Dollmaker's Syndrome

There has been a lot of discussion around our house lately about a newly discovered disease. You won't read about it in the American Journal of Medicine, but I think it's only a matter of time. In the interest of saving pain and anguish among younger crafters, I am posting this article on what we know so far.

In Dollmaker's Syndrome, the brain of the sufferer begins to turn to fiberfil. This may be a very gradual process and you may not notice early signs of the disease. These signs may include forgetting to attach files to e-mails or hitting Reply to All on potentially embarassing messages.

As the disease progresses, the symptoms become more noticeable, although they may be disguised as absent-mindedness or ordinary forgetfulness. CATscans will reveal the frightening truth . . . the patient's head is filling with air!

Following is a list of the more advance symptoms. Please keep in mind that this list is not all-inclusive by any means.

• you write one or more blog posts in your blog writer and then forget to post any of them
• you let the dogs in and then forget why you are standing at the door, so put them out again
• you stitch an entire row of blocks to the quilt UPSIDE DOWN
• you send your to-do list to a random person in your address book
• meals at your house have become sandwiches and microwave soup
• you mis-calculate number of blocks for a quilt - and POST those impossible numbers on the internet
• you spend more time shopping in the hardware store than in the grocery store
• you make up a shopping list - and leave it on the counter at home
• you collect a craft supply and carefully pack it away where it will not get damaged, then six months later tear the studio APART looking for it
• the only dusting that gets done is the dolls that cover every flat surface in your home
• you make up an entirely fictional disease and post all about it on your blog

If you are experiencing these symptoms - or similar ones - please see your health care provider immediately! Do not panic! This disease is not now known to be fatal. It is also important to note that the patient may believe their behavior to be perfectly normal. So listen to your loved ones and get help!